we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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