I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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