everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
