I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am available for nakedness
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