She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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