You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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