someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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