This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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