It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
