he was CRYING into my vagina
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
