Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
