wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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