i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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