I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
