i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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