Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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