its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's blow job season.
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Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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