You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
