neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
