So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
