I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
