I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
