Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize