Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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