Already got asked if we're dating
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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