my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
