Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
whose parrot is this?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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