i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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