Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
bring money and cleavage
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
