I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
