is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize