You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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