She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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