Your face is a jimmy john
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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