i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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