You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
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You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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