I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
