8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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