have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
