Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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