I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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