making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize