I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
