plz talk dirty to me
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
