Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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