I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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