Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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