like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Randomize
