I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
