I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
