my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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