hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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