I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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