At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
