dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ugly people sure do ruin things
is wine microwaveable?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
