May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
