that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
