My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
