You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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