how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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