Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
