I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
