so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We got so high we made milksteak
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
